Monthly Archive for December, 2007

I was standing at the kitchen sink a few minutes ago and was pretty sure I saw a snowflake… just one. I looked again and yup, there was something tiny and white dancing about outside the window. So of course, what better excuse to go outside and have a cigarette…. I haven’t seen it snow in 7yrs.

Got all of my warm stuff on… pants (I was in PJ’s), boots, gloves, sweater, jacket, hat and went outside. No snowflakes. Nothin. Meh. But it was cold. I think the one good thing about cold weather is, I’m going to be smoking a LOT less haha. Half a cigarette later and it was time to go back indoors. Though it IS supposed to snow today. The weather lady (Carey) said so.

As for work and life in general. I called my ‘new store’ up here today to speak with my store manager and she had no idea who I was. No idea that she was to be taking on another employee, no available positions for shifts, she also asked me if I had all of my ‘transfer paperwork’ with me (WHAT transfer paperwork?!). I’m a little upset with the way things have gone. I was told that I’d have a position available when I got up here. I wasn’t told by anyone at MY store that I needed any sort of paperwork. I do have a transfer request form but it never got filled out by anyone (’approved’ – huh wha?).

So it’s obvious that I need to start looking for another job NOW since from what this SM said, she doesn’t have room on her schedule for anyone this coming week (which is when I was expecting to go back to work). She’s going to call her District Manager to see what’s going on and call me back but this is good indication that nobody ever really knows what’s going on in the world.

I did pick up an application at REI while I was there and although I don’t have any direct experience SELLING gear (only buying hah), they start out at $8.75 and have a lot of great benefits so I may try to apply there. But it just seems silly, to move up here and be making LESS than what I was making in Florida (of all places). My other option is to look at staffing agencies and go ahead and find myself a temp job doing data entry work of some sort since I’m pretty sure I saw listings for $12-13hr.

Aye aye aye.

It’s hard ya know. No matter how much you think you’re okay with it. No matter how much you think you’ll be fine. That you’ll see everyone again soon, that life isn’t changing in a huge and monumental way, the reality is… saying goodbye sucks.

I said goodbye to my friends today after much deliberation. Just a little while ago as a matter of fact. And no matter how much I wanted NOT to, I cried. Because it was in that moment that I realized that although I’m going somewhere and starting a new life with the person that I love, I’m doing just that… starting a NEW life. My friends will not be there. My family won’t be there. My job (no matter how much I hate it) won’t be there. My dog won’t be there (for a while at least)

And sure, Frank and I don’t talk much. That’s our personality. But since meeting him at work, he’s become someone that I could relate to. He was my ‘bud,’ my brother in crime and MMORPG’s and movies and geekery and social paranoia… and he won’t be there.

And Candyce. Sheesh. When you need a pick-me-up, there she is. When you need a good hug. There she is. When you need someone to make you smile at work, there she is. She’s like the little sister I never had and I wonder how she’ll be when I’m gone. Not because I did anything special but because I know that I’ll worry about her.

Kelly. We had our good times. She woke me up to a world that I had thought long gone for me. In a way, she prepared me for this… for Carey. For laughing again and being creative and having fun at a time when I didn’t think it was possible any longer.

I suppose that’s why I put all of these things off for so long. I’m leaving tomorrow and the house isn’t really fully packed. I’ll be leaving things behind to pick up later when I come back for everything. But the longer I put it off, the longer I kept from thinking too hard about it, the longer I had to remain calm. If I just could have slipped out in the middle of the night and NOT said goodbye to things, to my family, to my friends, I think I would have been okay.

I have to pack tonight. To decide what clothing to bring and make sure I have all of the important stuff with me. I have to try and clean up the house a bit so my parents don’t have to deal with it in my absence. But the reality is… tomorrow.. I’m leaving. I’m moving and I don’t know when I’ll get to see my friends again. I don’t know when I’ll get to see my family agaian.

It’s such a bittersweet Christmas.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’m moving to Chicago in 8 days, maybe I’m just ‘done’ with the whole uber busy days, bad back pains, cranky customers and crappy employees but as I sit thinking that I really do need to leave for work soon (yes, it’s 3:30am) I realize that work these days is like ripping off a bandaid… make that… ripping off duct tape. I just want it to be over with quickly.

… that or I don’t even want to pull it off (ie. stay home, stay in bed, leave a week early). I’m tired. The Starbucks 10065 is the gateway to hell… or maybe it’s just the service industry in general.

Ahh well. Off to hell.. I mean, work.