Life of The Average Joe
after TOO many hours of work and pissing off my brother and 4am bedtimes… the site is back up.
there are a few kinks to work out, some additions to be finished and some more artwork for the site to finish but.. all in all… it’s done!!
tell me what you think.
lumpstuff.com
okay. seeing myself on national tv (even if it was pushed all the way back to 10pm) was odd. coming home, i already had two e-mails from people that had watched the show and found my information online. wondering how the heck they FOUND my livejournal, i did a search and realized that i even have my PHONE NUMBER posted for all the world to see on a website from a gallery show that i was part of last year. i’ve already written them an e-mail requesting that they remove my phone number from their site…
… but this is going to get strange.
aye.
so. for those of you that saw the first episode… what did you think? who did you like? who did you not like? what did you think about my 2 seconds of actual ‘talk time’ on the show?! hahaha. i thought it was funny to see myself (constantly) standing in the background of the shots. oh boy.
These are all people that HAVE given up… or SHOULD give up.
Don’t be a statistic… don’t give up.
a man beaten by a tree. i’d give up.
what happened to “Die Hard?” now the sissy bitch just gives up.
no explanation required.
uhh.. i don’t even know what to say about THESE guys?!
his full-time job as ‘grass attendant’ was cut short last week after a gopher held him at gunpoint. can’t blame the gopher… shorts, socks and BOAT shoes?! come on people.
i’m not entirely sure what this guy is all about. but he gave up too.
a whole GROUP of peole that gave up… this can’t be good.
she’s drunk. she gives up.
it’s final.
i love you and stuff too. so NO giving up.
i’ve just been trying to make phone calls… research that company policy etc. it’s not that i don’t care enough about you to write you back!!
and p.s. yes. it would have been nice to sleep in this morning with you. maybe you can be late tomorrow too?! hehe. okay. sorry. not a laughing matter.
oh. and i’ve made it so that i can leave you dirty messages on Livejournal and only YOU can see them!!! wooHOO.
so.. “dirty message.”
good right?! lol.
i think our lovely president is going to fuck up the premiere of my show on Tuesday.
i just found out yesterday that he’s planning an ‘announcement to the nation’ on Tuesday @ 8pm… which just so happens to be EXACTLY when my show is supposed to start!! grr. it’s supposed to take place on ALL stations so obviously NBC will be a part of that. i’ve even called our local affiliate here in Tampa to find out what’s going to happen with regular programming and they don’t know!? wtf.
i am both emotionally and physically exhausted at this point. i spent last night crying in bed and here i sit in tears yet again. i don’t have any energy. i still don’t have the time i need to finish everything i feel i need to. but i don’t know if i care anymore (or just don’t have the energy to care).
last night i thought about scrapping the whole thing. Lumpstuff.com, my desires for making anything out of whatever could possibly trickle down from the show, everything. just finding myself a normal, well-paying job and leaving it at that.
i feel worthless right now. i’m not able to pay my bills as i haven’t been working nearly as much as i was in the past. i’ve been spending so much of my time focused on trying to prepare myself and my artwork etc. for an audience that may not even exist when the show airs. i’m being supported by the people that care about me and although it may sound fun to not have to worry about things like where food is coming from and where i’m going to find money for my next pack of cigarettes… it seriously takes a toll on me. i feel like an ass. i wonder if it’s worth all of this.
i dont’ know what’s going to happen in the next few weeks/months. all i can hope is that it WILL be worth all of the stress (both on me and the people close to me) and that i don’t let the people down that seem to believe in me?
…
also what i’ve been working on.
… bringing my old freehand illustrations ‘up-to-date’ with my new work.
the result?
old.
new.
my opinion… new stuff = loverly.
yes. i forgot the thought bubble. i’ll put that in later.
i haven’t had much of a life for about a week now (since i started redoing the lumpstuff.com site) though hopefully that is soon coming to an end. i’m shooting for a late Friday completion though some of the things i need done will rely solely on help from my brother.
Bianca and i have been doing lovely. i feel as though more than ever in our relationship, we’ve been closer. we’ve kissed more. touched each other more. felt good around each other more. things are good. i’m sure though that my time spent sitting here in front of the computer is starting to wear on her. she and i have spent the entire day in our bedroom, sitting in front of our respective computers. me working on my website, her playing the sims, browsing the internet and being overall bored out of her mind. i need to get this site done so i can go back to having some semblance of a life with her.
i can’t say much about my job lately as i haven’t been working NEARLY enough. my father has once again taken on the responsibility of paying my bills because i’m not making any money but for the moment, i can’t complain… i need to get this site done. i need to get some marketable merchandise up for sale so that when the time comes, i can take advantage of whatever ‘audience’ i get from the show.
i’m extremely happy with the recent outpouring of Lump and Lumpstuff. although i haven’t created any new characters or made any different Lumps, the backgrounds i’ve been doing are fun and my ‘craft’ is improving. i’m seeing more marketable stuff coming out of my time and i’ve got hope that things will work out for the better when the time comes that i’m ready to start selling stuff on a larger scale.
lastly. i’ve made a few good contacts through friends and family and although not everyone reads this, i want to say thank you. i have NO idea what will/can happen when all is said and done but i plan on following up on all of these contacts in the hopes for new opportunities.
all in all. things are good with me.
p.s. thanks to Bianca as well. i said that my father has taken on the resonsibility of paying my bills… well, Bianca has taken on the responisibility of paying for everything else. she buys me cigarettes, she buys me food, she pays for my movie tickets (the list could go on and on but to save myself the shame of reading it as i type… i’ll stop here).
basically. i feel like an ass a lot lately (though i try not to think about it) for not having any money. for not being able to buy HER things or pay for HER dinner but i hope that in time, the tables will shift and i will have that luxury.
i <3 you bianca.
Just updated lumpstuff.com.
This is illustration is sort of a joke. It’s based on the fact that lately I’ve been seeing a TON of really amazing artists doing work that I only dream of doing… and they’re all Asian.
I like the background on this one but my Asian people need some work. Ahh well. I just wanted to do something different.
*Note from the editor (me): I have NOTHING against Asian people. This isn’t a racial issue etc. etc.
