i will start out by saying that everything is good in my life.
relationships are an intersting beast. there are compromises. arguments. disagreements. fun times. tender moments. silly moments. watching movies together. eating dinner together and a myriad of other things single individuals don’t experience.
i am constantly amused by all of them.
so what i’m saying is… my relationship with bianca is good. like every relationship, we have our little ‘arguments’ but they are usually resolved in good time and we move on.
i had my first REAL migraine last week in almost 12yrs. i feel bad that bianca really had no way of helping and she wanted to. we all do. when we see someone that we care about in pain, we want to be able to help. having had migraines constantly when i was younger, i knew that the only real thing for me to do was scream a lot because it hurt so bad, turn off all the lights in the house and keep everything very quiet. eventually, i would vomit and pass out. happily enough, i skipped the vomit part and just passed out.
work is a stress that i wish i didn’t have but at the moment, it seems like it’s a good place to be financially. although i’m only making $7.50 an hour, i make good money in tips and i’ve been able to cover all of my bills (and pay them early) for the last two months. the people i work with seem to have MUCH less ‘work ethic’ and common sense than i do and it makes things very difficult sometimes. i find myself having to ‘manage’ the store and that’s just not something that i get paid for. we had our employee meeting a few days ago and it seemed like i had more to say (and gripe about) at the meeting than the owners of the cafe did. it shouldn’t be that way. the owners should spend more time at the store MANAGING and not rely solely on the individuals that are working there. i keep telling myself that i should be looking elsewhere but i haven’t yet. why?! not sure.
it appears that the federal government has once again offset (taken) my tax return to apply to a debt i had with the veterans office. this is good and bad. on the one hand, i think the debt is now paid in full which means i can redistribute the $100 i was spending each month to pay it back. on the other hand, i was REALLY looking forward to taking my $1200 tax return and slapping it down on my jeep loan. i have $4,200 left to pay on my jeep and my goal this year is to have it paid off by December 31st. it is of course still possible but i would have liked to apply my return to the loan to help pay it off that much faster.
either way, i think i am going to start putting aside that $100 which was previously going to pay back my federal debt and investing it. there was a time in my life when i actually had a good amount of money invested in both mutual funds and an IRA. over the last few years, i have managed to clean house on both accounts and of course regret it now.
in other news. i haven’t been very creative lately. i’ve done no new illustration work. taken no pictures (my camera is of course broken). made nothing. painted nothing. i would at first respond with, “i need to start doing that again.” but sadly, it seems that i lack the motivation to ’start doing that again.’ thinking about it now, i could come up with a number of excuses why and i honestly don’t believe that it’s something which can be forced if it’s not there to begin with… but where did it go? i found myself in Claires Boutique last night with bianca so she could look for a necklace to wear with her Renaissance Festival costume and i was of course attacked by all of the ‘cute animal crap’ that they have for sale there. i saw way too much Happy Bunny, Hello Kitty, Squirt the Whale, Bad Monkey etc. it again made me angry inside that i haven’t been able to come up with something similarly useless that people will spend money on. i guess maybe when the time is right, it will happen and i’ll find myself looking at the pages of my sketchbook wondering why i hadn’t stumbled onto it sooner. in the meantime, i have NO idea what i’m doing with Lump or the website. the shop is of course still open but i nobody has purchased anything in months (as was to be expected). in addition, i was HORRIBLE about getting out the orders that i DID get so maybe it’s just not time.
i saw ‘Robots’ last night with bianca. it was a really cute movie. i’m always amazed at how many ‘adult’ jokes are tossed into those types of films.
the house is still quite messy. no matter how much stuff i get rid of, there always seems to be more to take its place. for the last month or so i’ve been trying my best to get the house organized and clean so as to move in the rest of biancas belongings. she’s been living out of a travel bag for as long as she’s been staying here and i know that it stresses her out at times that she can’t find clothes for work etc. hopefully one of these days, we will both find time to clean it up ‘for good.’
lastly. i still haven’t heard anything new about the reality tv show that i was on. i have no idea when or IF it will ever air but i’ve of course got my fingers crossed that it will be sometime soon.
