Monthly Archive for April, 2003

got to bed at around 3:30-ish am. ugh. but that’s okay
had to wake up at 8am so the electrician could come and fix some outlets and such.

let me tell you… i would laugh my ass off if i were him (but i’m not… and he didn’t)

• light in the hallway: one of the wires was pinched when it was installed (before i moved in) so the light wasn’t getting any juice… fixed that in about ten minutes.
• no electricity in the laundry room: aparently…. the fuckin’ BREAKER was off!! now… i’m no dummy. but i never even looked to see if that was the case. my sister said, “the dryer is broken.” i assumed it was the electricity in the laundry room. my dad came over to look at it. said there was no juice in the outlet. well imagine-fuckin-that! that’s because the breaker is off. *sigh* he ‘fixed’ that one for us too. :p
• the light in the living room ‘artsy corner’… yeah. um… the lightbulb. it uh.. it was burnt out. uh-hu. that’s right. switch the bulb out and VIOLA, there’s light!

so basically. he came over… i got up at 8am.. (cleaned out my closet last night so he’d have access to the ‘attic’ to look at wiring. he didn’t need to.

the sad thing is, i worked with ‘eletricity’ (granted it was giant cables and motor generators) in the Air Force. and everything he did… i could have done with a meter and some common sense!! (i need to get a meter)

what did we pay for this excitement?? $50. it took him about an hour and a half. i looked at his business card… aparently, he’s an ‘electrician journeyman.’ which makes me think… “damn. even if it’s just for fun… i need to get MY journeymans license!” cuz he’s making damn good money!!

so.. yeah. that’s all i have for now.

oh. i dropped my film off at the photo place to have my negatives processed. this is the first time that i’ve NOT processed them myself, so i hope they ‘do it right.’ granted. they probably will. but it’s always scary to have someone else taking care of precious negatives since… if they fuck up… you lose your pictures. and that’s no fun. i’ll pick them up on Tuesday before work. so hopefully, i’ll have a few new pictures to post soon. i couldn’t find my other roll of film (the ones that i shot at night) so the pictures i’m getting back are from when i went shooting with Tim and his girlfriend.

i’ll have to find my other roll sometime soon.

okay, i’m going back to bed. i realize that NORMAL people are awake and ‘doing stuff’ at this hour, but with my schedule… that’s just not right. so… maybe a little ‘nap’ for me then.

a few other things before i go. (damn.. it turned into more than ‘a few’)

• : it was good talking to again the other day. if only for a moment. you are always in my thoughts. you have become more than just an ‘old friend’ to me. you are like family. i love you that much. be well. the water of life is our playground. everything we do in it causes ripples. it can kill us (hypothermia) and it can wash away our worries. you are a letter of love. placed tenderly in a bottle and thrown out to sea. it may seem at times that you are destined to float with no direction for the rest of time, but don’t worry… soon enough.. you will again be caught up in the ebb and flow. picked up by a wave and placed tenderly on back on the shores of hope where you will dig your toes into the sand and breathe in the warm salty air. i know you will
• : you need a break huh? from work. from life. there’s no better place to ‘break’ than here in Florida i miss the e-mails. keep me updated on your plans. i’ll do what i can to accomodate from my end. i’d love for you to come down here if even only for a few days. smile
• : congratulations on discovering that you too… can be a bartender! i’m happy for you. that’s an accomplishment. i’ve always thought of being a bartender. just never actually followed through with it. you have. good luck in your ‘job search’ now. i had fun last night hope you did too. we should hang out again sometime (maybe the weather will be better and we can get out of the house)
• : we never talk anymore (and that’s okay). i’ve had you on my friends list for quite a long time now. everytime you’d write that you were bored or lonely, i wanted to drive out there and make you have fun. i hope that life is still MORE enjoyable (even in the little things) than it is not. be good to yourself. that’s the first thing. the most important thing.
• : you get that ‘lovin’ that you’d been looking for, for the last few months? is there a boy in the picture now? either way. hope things are going well with you.
• : if ever there was someone that i held so close to my heart as a ‘little sis’… you’d be her. i want to ‘look after you.’ to make sure the boys that you’re dating are good enough for you. to threaten their life (in a tender way) if they ever hurt you. i miss you. i’m happy to know that you are happy (even if just for a day). smile love. it brightens the world (my world) when you do. laugh. because it is truly the best medicine. and play ‘dress up’ whenever you can!! i know it’s fun. if i were there… i’d do it too! *coughs* wait… um…er. nevermind.
• : first it was your photography that pulled me in. then it was your writing which pulled me in further. after talking with you, i realized that we had ’similar spirits.’ we desire so much. we feel so much (sometimes maybe TOO much). we want to know people. to understand the world. to help where we can. we don’t talk much anymore. that’s a shame. we’re both busy living i guess. i HOPE! you’d damn well better be. but this is a moment for you. i miss you. i miss your support. i miss our conversations. thank you SO much for everything that you’ve given me (valentines included… ya know… it was the ONLY valentines card i got this year!!! but it was the best one)
• : we only met once. you’re a friend to Brooke. we had a ‘talk’ (i listened where applicable). so because of that… i now hope that things are well in life for you.
• : damn the woman in California!! my little love monkey (or…wait..is that me?!) i don’t remember :p anyhow. you’re going to be an AUNT!! congratu-fuckin’-lations!!! you’ll be a kick-ass aunt. i know you will. i wonder if i’ll ever get the chance to be an ‘uncle.’ i’m going to have to rent little kids to call me ‘uncle Nathan.’ *sigh* you’re in California. far from here. but that’s okay. you’re in my thoughts. btw… you STILL ‘owe’ me that ‘package’. okay.. you really don’t OWE it to me. but… i’m still here take your time. i know that we get caught up in other things. i hope your job is well. i hope your social life is well. i hope things between you and ‘the boy that you’ve never truly gotten over’ are well. be good. take care. maybe we’ll get a chance to talk again soon.
• : we used to talk a lot. you helped me with my ‘photography stuff’ once. we used to chat via webcam. you have the best smile in the world. don’t stop smiling… ever. you’re a mom. it’s a huge responsibility. but i can imagine you’re doing a wonderful job. i miss you. i still OWE you the stuff that i said i was going to send (what seems like) six years ago… the drawings etc. they’re still here… on my computer desk. god.. i’m horrible… i need to get off my ass and send the stuff already!! take care Joy.
• : we’ve hung out twice. i don’t know all that much about you… but i want to. you’re already a good friend. i feel ‘alive’ when i’m with you. and that’s a good thing. this is your last week of school… your LAST WEEK!! are you excited? you must be. i know i would be (had i finished out this semester!!).. a few things for you. a) we need to go kayaking one of these days. b) we need to give ‘ultimate frisbee’ a go when we can get some other people together. c) photo shoot still there.. i haven’t forgotten. d) last time we hung out, you were saying something about a movie that was playing at the Tampa Theater?! do you know what it was called? do you want to go? e) speaking of movies… if you figure out what the name of the movie from Korea is called.. and we find it.. let’s watch it!! hope all is well. hope you have/had a good weekend with the family and the ‘art show’??
• : haven’t commented/talked to you in a while. it’s amazing to watch your art develop like it has. i’m envious of talent.. your talent. you’ve found your niche man. run with it. open up your eyes and dream of how far you could go.. and you’ll be there. (at least that’s what they tell me). keep on keepin’ on. word to your mother. etc. etc.
• : once i knew a girl. she was from Canada. she liked telling really dumb jokes (but i liked hearing them so it’s all good). her name is Veronique. she was sad when i met her. i tried to make her happy. i sent her stuff. we talked. we don’t talk much anymore. but i still wonder about you. i still think to myself, “i really hope that Vero is okay way up there in Canada. i hope she’s doing what she wants to be and following her heart.. because she has such a heart.. a huge heart. so much to give. and it would be a shame for the world not to open up and let her in. i know i have. and i’m better off for it.” i miss you Vero. i miss your french accent. (boy do i ever.. i know YOU may not think so.. but i do!!) much love to you.. much much love. xo
• : you’re a photographer. you’re a ‘friend.’ we are similar in so many ways. maybe some day… if i’m ever ‘in the neighborhood’ we’ll meet up. have a few drinks. talk on life. you are pusuing something that many of us let fall by the wayside as ‘artists.’ you are moving. floating along with the river of life. you’ll get where you want to be. you have what it takes. the honesty. the talent. the drive. say hello to the darkroom for me will ya?
• : we’ve had some interesting times you and i. we’ve been pissed at each other. we’ve gone out and drank beer at ‘dog parks.’ we’ve chilled around the house. you’re a good friend man. i’m sorry about your job. but you’re headed in the right direction. regardless of this small (although it may not seem to be) bump in the road. sooner than you think, you’ll be studying with the Brits. your writing will evolve as you grow. you’ll get more bitter and jaded (hehe.. just kidding.. but that IS what makes for good writing). one of these days.. i’ll be buying a copy of your first book, “The Tao of Tyler” take it easy. (p.s. we should do something before you ditch town)
• : yes, i’ve included you in this… you exist on the ‘outside’ as the guy friend that i don’t usually have. still hoping that one of these days we can get together. even if it’s to browse the flea market for old slides and stuff. good luck with everything you’re doing man. you got dreams. follow ‘em. it’s gotten you this far.
• : “hey.” “hi.” i’m glad that you have someone wonderful and cheesy in your life (don’t deny it.. i’ve seen the pictures.) your life is moving along. you’re making decisions. you’ll do fine. i know you will. you’ve gone places. you’ve seen things. you have stories to tell. that is what this (life) is all about. share them. you have so much to give (i know.. you don’t dance around on webcam for nothin’… you do it cuz it’s FUN!!) p.s. every time i hear that song (or even one CLOSE to it) i smirk and then chuckle. keep smiling Flora Cole. will ya do that for me?
• : you’re a bastard for never writing me any e-mails. never calling to say, “hi honey. how ya been? how ya doin?” i see how it is. i feel the love. i remember once when you said to me (after we were out of the Air Farce), “we’ll probably never see each other again… it’s just the way things like this work.” i’m still denying that. yeah, we missed a chance a while back. that’s cool. but damn dude… if ever there was a good friend in my life… you’re it. i dunno. you’ve got my respect. you’ve got my gratitude (for being the friend that you were/are). one of these days… one of em… we’ll be chillin’ again. for now… this is it.. a ‘bullet’ in a livejournal. but fack. that’s the best we can do i guess. p.s. i STILL have your ‘christmas present’ sitting here on my computer desk.. the one that you wouldn’t LET me send because you haven’t gotten off your ass to send whatever it is that you’ve got for me… well guess what mr.. i dun care. i’m gonna find your address (hope it hasn’t changed) and i’m going to send it. and then you’ll just have to feel even WORSE!!! bwahaha. aaaaaaaalright. that’s enough ‘guilt trip’ shit. i’m happy to hear that there’s a chica in your life (right? there is… that’s what i THOUGHT i read). chica’s are fun. someday maybe i’ll meet her (your chica). anyhow. this was my moment to say, “damn dude… you’re a good friend. hope things are well.”
• : maryland. meeting you for the first time (which still seems reaaaaaally strange. since i don’t think i’ve EVER actually met anyone that i first knew on the internet if they didn’t live in Tampa). smoking pot. (was i allowed to say that?!). picnic table. driving around looking for liquor store. good times. good times. honesty. caring about one another. getting drunk… just for me!! these are the things that make me smile. miss you.